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Thursday, August 27, 2015

Another one: “Confessions Of a Former Self Hating Black Man who Used to Bash Black women on Social Media“

Does he want a cookie now? Lmao!

I have to side eye this, because I feel like he’s saying that he’s only giving black women a chance now, because he no longer has access to white and non-black women who are the object of his desires. And it shouldn’t take a case like Trayvon for a black man to have to respect for the opposite gender who shares his history and skin color.
Was it really self hate? A self hater wants nothing to do with their own, he clearly had no problem only wanting the only black people around him to be black men.

That’s messed up, because the sista who would end up in the relationship with him wouldn’t be genuinely liked by this person.

And would he be so called “woke” if white and non-black women were still accessible to him? If there weren’t any media coverage of police brutality and sista soldiers out there marching for his rights as a black man, would he even had made this confession?
Should we go and pat Tommy Sotomayor on the back too while we’re at it?
And judging by the comments why are black women so forgiving? I’ve never seen black women this forgiving towards others, not even other black women. When have we ever forgiven discriminatory people without making them see their wrong doings?

Black women don’t need triggering things, and influences to support black men, whether we’re young or old. We have an emotional connection to black men, that black men DO NOT have for us, and he basically proved this through the article.

And I bolded the parts I bolded for a reason. This for the sexist, misogynistic people in denial, who love the blame black mothers for their sons disdain towards black women, as proof of like I said before how black men love themselves and their brethren but have great disdain for black women. It’s not “solely” self hate, it’s basically what we all fear calling it, which is blatant hate or dislike towards black women.  He basically said most black men don’t have genuine interest in black women because we’re black. They find us boring and common. Wow.
Here you go:


By: Anonymous
Before we get started please scroll down and look at the tweets below. They are examples of the types of tweets that I would have posted in the past.(These are not actually tweets I sent)
(click on the link for the tweets)
If you’re reading this then the title probably drew you in. I am currently a 20 year old black man who did in fact live the first 19 years of his life as a self-hating, white woman (and other non-black women) obsessed black man who used to bash black women in real life and on social media. I am no longer this way and in the last few months I have undergone a great change. I would like to share my story for two reasons the first is because it rarely done and second is to answer questions like the ones below that I usually see on social media.
Before telling my story let me put a few things out there. My experience is my own but in having discussions with many other black men who have gone through similar experiences and finally woken up, I can say that many parts of my story mirrors theirs and in a way some parts of my story are representative of the stories of many black men who have been through this. Also, this article is in no way an attack on interracial dating or black people who prefer partners of other races. I am simply telling my story. Now that we have all of that out of the way let’s begin.
What exactly is a self-hating black man? A self-hating black man can be a lot of different things but for me it was a man who was not fully comfortable in his blackness and as result directed his feelings into other things in order to compensate. For me to reach the point that I am at now where I am able to label my former self as a self-hater has not been easy but through thinking back on my former thought process and actions It’s a conclusion that I found I cannot escape.
To give a little background on my life, I grew up in a two parent middle class household in the south. The city that I grew up in was, and still is consistently ranked as one of the most racially diverse cities in the United States. As a result of this I had a very diverse group of friends but when it came down to it my closest friends were all black males like me.
The backgrounds of my friends were were as diverse as the city I grew up I. Some were from the “hood”, while others were from the best neighborhoods in town. Despite our socioeconomic differences we all had one thing in common. We were all interested in white girls. This interest developed as soon as we began being interested in girls, which occurred sometime around second grade. From this time onward liking white girls was always the “cool” thing to do so everyone went along with it.
My friends and I were friends with black girls in our classes but we rarely had crushes on them. Looking back on it now, it was probably because we viewed them as being too similar to us and what we knew. They reminded us of our cousins, sisters and other female family members while white girls (and other non-black girls) on the other hand, were so different from us in so many ways. I personally believe that this is one of the main factors as to why many black men are so interested in women of other races.
The trend of liking white girls that began in elementary school continued throughout my school years. As I entered middle school and then high school it was impossible to escape the appeal of having a white or non-black girlfriend. Among my black friends, you were seen as almighty and powerful if you could get a white girl and if you found out that one liked you or had any interest in you; you were seen as a god.
The mindset of my friends and I at the time could be summed up as something along the lines of “if she ain’t white, she’s at least gotta be light”. Black women were barley on our radar and we treated them as such. At the time, I would sit back, laugh, and even join in as my friends would make fun of the black girls in our classes for things like their, hair, skin tone, or the way they talked. For me and my friends, white girls came first followed by Latina, Asians, and mixed girls, in no particular order. While me and some of my friends did date and like some black girls we still greatly respected guys who were able to get with women on different races.
To me most black women represented everything that I didn’t want in a woman. I felt that most were too loud, too argumentative, had too much attitude, and were too much to handle. I believed these things despite being raised by and around black women who represented absolutely none of these things. I simply saw my mother and other female family members as exceptions to my generalization so they didn’t count.
In contrast to black women, white women and women of other races represented everything that black women weren’t. They were beautiful, agreeable, adventurous, easy to handle, and most importantly possessed the genetic code that I wanted for my future children. When I thought of my future I would often picture a big house, nice cars and a white wife along with 2 mixed children that had “good hair”. I felt that if I could achieve this I would have it all. This is the part of my journey where I am able to look back on and pinpoint clear self-hate.
The tweet below is representative of my former thinking.

My interest in women of other races may have started as something I developed because “it was cool” but it soon turned into something else. By wanting mixed children with “good hair” I was in a way putting down my own black features. I had thick nappy hair and dark skin. My features where in direct contrast to the features I wanted my future children to have which looking back on it now I see as a big problem. I never thought that I had problems with my skin tone or hair texture but my thought process confirmed that I did in fact have some issues which I have since overcome.
I continued to put white and other non-black women above black women until I entered college. It was during this time that everything changed. I currently attend one of the largest pwi’s (predominately white institutions) in the south. To a certain extent the school is socially segregated. From day one it was very clear that the white kids hung out with each other while the few black students at the school hung out with each other. This was no problem to me since all my friends growing up had always been black. The only issue I had was that I no longer had easy access to the non-black women that I desired. I was forced into a tight knit black community and forced to adapt and “deal” with black women and all the negative attributes that I felt that they possessed.
In finally “dealing” with black women and spending lots of time with them I realized that all the generalizations I had about them were completely untrue. The women that I spent a lot of time around were intelligent, beautiful, kind, inspiring, supportive, black women who finally helped bring me to the light. The thing that intrigued me most about them was despite being aware that they were undesired by many of their own men they still did everything they could to do uplift, support, and advocate for us.
My awakening occurred around the time when the Mike Brown shooting and other police shootings of unarmed black men occurred. As these events unfolded all the negative feelings and disinterest I had in black women immediately disappeared as I saw them scramble to organize demonstrations and rallies on behalf of black men being killed by the police. This was awe inspiring and life changing for me.In my experiences with dealing with women from other races I never saw any other group of women who were so for their men as black women are for black men.
In realizing this, I realized that I share the same blood line with such passionate, ambitious, and devoted women. To come to the realization that as a black man I am directly associated with such greatness that is the black women completely changed me. My interest in women of other races quickly went away after coming to this realization. I now find it embarrassing to even think back on the things I tweeted or said about black women that I once thought were so funny.
If you want to know why some black men post derogatory things about black women online ill tell you. The answer is quite simple. Black men who put down black women do it simply because they are not comfortable in themselves and in their blackness. Any black man who takes pride in being black would never disrespect a black woman because he knows that she is a part of him and knows that by disrespecting her he is disrespecting himself as well. Because it is not often brought to light, many people fail to realize that many back men and more specifically many dark skinned black men  have difficulties with accepting their blackness so they deal with it by bashing black women while uplifting women with features they prefer. This combined with media influences that promote Eurocentric beauty standards often cause us black men to be influenced and indoctrinated with the message that white beauty is true beauty. It’s unfortunate that it took police brutality for me to finally come to see just how amazing black women were but it was an important wake up call for me
In closing, for any men who read this and are guilty putting down black women please take a second to think about your actions and how they might affect others. For all the women who read this please realize that the men who post things like I used to post, are lost and not comfortable in themselves so for that I apologize on behalf of them until they wake up and are able to apologize on their own.
http://myblackmatters.com/confessions-of-a-former-self-hating-black-man-who-used-to-bash-black-women-on-social-media/

And referencing the bolded again, I find it ironic how black women are always shouting “My brother, father, son, uncle, etc as a reason they prefer black men, want to marry black men, and should be protective of black men at all times.

Whereas he basically said most black men think the total opposite, and I’ve stressed this a lot myself how black men don’t believe they should protect or be attracted to black women because of the women in their families.

Friday, August 21, 2015

Black Women Don’t Get Bamboozled: White/Non-Black Hair Companies Are Now Trying to Peddle Black Women Natural Hair Products



Aveda recently came out with a “product” that is designed for Black women. It is supposed to “moisturize,” and eliminate “frizz.” I’ve noticed recently that other white companies have been trying to jump on the Black natural hair bandwagon.
Well, this Natural Black woman isn’t falling for it. For years and years these white companies didn’t care about Black women’s hair health and that hasn’t changed. These companies, I believe are now seeing that more and more Black women are starting to transition back to our natural hair and they want our money, plain and simple.
It is reminiscent of how the Black hair care industry was infiltrated by non-black businesses that copied Black products and then sold us their products [which enriched their communities], while the Black companies went out of business.  Not only did the Black community lose money from this, but their products were not good for our hair. Many of us who used these chemicals ended up losing our hair and we had to turn to weaves.
Many natural haired black women rely on other Black women to produce healthy, effective natural hair products. I , for instance, only purchase natural hair products that I know are black-owned and reliable. One of my favorite is oyinhandmade and I also use sheamoisture. In addition, I sometimes make my own natural hair products from organic shea butter. If you go on YouTube, you’ll find many Black women with natural hair who make and sell their own products as a small side-business.
These women actually CARE about Black women’s hair health because they HAVE our hair. These white companies are just out to exploit and take advantage as usual. Don’t get fooled, don’t let these companies peddling natural hair products, who didn’t even care about our hair a few years ago, supplant our natural hair care industry that we are building.
I will continue to support black-owned natural hair products and I won’t be supporting Aveda or any of these other companies that don’t have our best interests at heart.
My natural hair journey was a very intimate part of my identity and I’m not going to let some company that doesn’t care about Black women take that away.
Black Natural Hair Companies:
  1. Miss Jessie’s
  2. Oyinhandmade
  3. Shea Moisture
  4. Naturalicious
read more: http://www.blackenterprise.com/small-business/black-owned-natural-beauty-brands/

Ooops! Sistas got people shook huh? They realize they need our money now after alienating us for so long. Forget them, too little, too late. Support black owned businesses!!

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Black Women Are Never Priority: N.W.A, the Politics of Misogyny and My Battered Body


  


by Kimberly Foster @KimberlyNFoster

Wrestling with the past is painful. If we were to try to write every figure who committed despicable acts out of our histories, there would be no one left to revere. So it seems easier not to reckon with the violence that shapes our world—that shapes our thought.

But we never escape it. Whether it be the outgrowth of white supremacy, imperialism, homophobia, or misogyny, that violence transmutes everything it touches. It taints our being.

One of the most discomforting truths about living as a Black woman is that there is no safety from said violence. Those who continue to profit from it spread the lie that being “good” offers protection. It’s the kind of falsehood people like 46-year-old Ice Cube perpetuate when they speak of “bitches,” “hoes,” “despicable females,” and “upstanding ladies.”

Living in this body has taught me that there’s no use in jockeying for a position in the lauded latter category, because I will become a “bitch,” a “hoe,” or a “despicable female” as soon as someone decides they want to commit violence against me. The misogynists move the goal posts at will and effectively trap women on the hamster wheel of respectability. I discontinued that pursuit as soon as I realized that it is never “us” versus “them.” I am always them, and they are me.

This reality is why I prefer to speak about the violence I've experienced abstractly. I’ll admit that referring to "systems" and "structures" is often more comfortable. It allows me to avoid and suppress painful memories, but this, too, is a false protection.

After this piece on Dr. Dre’s history of beating women went viral, I’m more clearly seeing the failure of the duck and dodge. What we must confront directly is a status quo that accepts physical and verbal violence against Black women as mere inconveniences and excuses them as distractions from the real legacy.

We allow and encourage abusers of Black women to thrive, yet somehow the conversation turns to the spoiling of nostalgia or stripping of earned success. Here, again, we come back to an old story: a Black man’s triumph is more important than a Black woman’s body.

The consideration of anyone’s cultural import and influence cannot be done piecemeal, and those of us who desire real and meaningful acknowledgement of harmful words and deeds are not betraying our culture.

Misogyny is political. We cannot discuss the revolutionary politics of N.W.A., for example, without mentioning another clearly and dangerously articulated stance chosen by the group and its members. While it is correct to note N.W.A.’s role in giving voice to urban frustrations, it is also correct to consider their role in perpetuating virulent hatred of women—the kind that puts all women at risk everyday. We can't ignore it because it doesn’t fit the narrative. Misogyny kills, and it is not accidental. It is always a choice.

Both Dr. Dre and Ice Cube are now middle-aged men who have had notable careers in entertainment since the group’s split, but trying to explain away their verbal and physical violence towards Black women as typical transgressions of youth is insufficient. Though we must allow people space to evolve, we cannot conflate aging with growth. The trouble is there are few real consequences for unmitigated misogyny. Ice Cube can still call women "bitches" and "hoes" and Dre can still produce woman-hating music. Their legacies will not suffer.

One must be invested in dismantling a culture that normalizes violence against Black women before we talk about reconciliation. We’ve yet to see that from these men, and unless they’re going to do this work, linking the group to #BlackLivesMatter is an affront to the movement’s intersectional foundations. The current fight for Black liberation is for all of us—not just men.

Most telling in the push-back to conversations about misogyny and N.W.A. are the ways that Black women become unmourned casualties. In the age of #BlackLivesMatter, we see how violence breaks down communities. All violence is connected, and a refusal to take violence against Black women seriously—whether perpetrated by the State or otherwise—pushes us outside of the communities we work for and live in.

That is why some of us are opting not to see or support the film. And truthfully, it’s unsurprising that our choice is taken as a personal attack by Straight Outta Compton’s evangelists. Black folks still see our destiny linked to the fate of Black men while Black women are deemed non-essential.

I don’t excuse it, but I understand. I’ve protected and enabled abusers even as they victimized me. I feared for my safety and never told anyone. Embarrassment consumed me. I chose him, and I should've known better, I thought.

I’m a Black woman intimately familiar with the Black feminist and womanist canons. That did not stop me from taking responsibility for the actions of a volatile and violent man. When that man was arrested for attempting to solicit someone to kill the woman he began dating shortly after we split, I was not surprised. And, somehow, I still felt responsible.

I’ll admit it is personally hurtful as someone who has experienced all manner of sexist violence to see others who consider themselves to be "progressive" brush it aside, but most of our relationships to popular culture are complicated. From most reports, Straight Outta Compton is a wonderfully made film. This particular critique does not negate, completely, the efforts of those who helped to create and produce the film.  

Black women deserve to be and feel safe. Refusing to challenge our degradation only fuels cycles of violence. We should not have to worry we may be implicating Black men when talking about our hurt. We need not be silent to aid your guilt-free consumption.

Monday, August 10, 2015

Egg on the face: The black women receiving backlash for interrupting Bernie Sanders rally, with the #blacklivesmatter thing, really is a wake up call.



Sistas go so hard all the time, even when not needed for things that don’t benefit black women. Now they see that they’re not rewarded for that loyalty. Black people don't care about how loyal you are to the community, black men damn sure don't care about your loyalty. Now these sistas embarrassed themselves with the same loyal they rather confine themselves to, instead of focusing their energy and time of helping black women and girls mainly.

Maybe the wake up call will finally force them to convert that energy into things that solely benefit black women and girls for a change.

I don't feel sorry for those sistas getting that backlash. Stop being so loyal to people who are not loyal to you.

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Follow her please!!!

Support this amazing sista and her blog, she's awesome and speaks the truth too------------> https://originalwoman13.wordpress.com/

Brotha bashes the sistas who made the "To be black and woman alive" video and it's VILE!!

::Warning::
(Extremely offensive content ahead)



 
“A Grown Black Man Response to Crystal Valentine & Aaliyah Jihad – “To Be Black and Woman and Alive”

I see why ugly sistas love salt and vinegar flavored potato chips because that’s all their ugly behind got to offer this world, some salty hate and vitreous vinaigrette. This video came across my social media wire and I quickly severed the social media connection to that chick immediately for even passing along this cray cray crap. In this article, let’s review this video or poem or whatever this crap is and give an honest assessment from a black man and how we black men should respond.
The first order of business is to check out the video 
The very first words that come out of their mouth was mocking us brothas with some “I’m just saying..if she ain’t got no booty, I ain’t trying to hit it..” and I’m sitting here thinking that maybe I should be trying to hit it even if she ain’t got no booty. So you see where this is all going..some of the dumbest most illogical cray cray shit coming out of these ugly ass sistas mouth. Yeah, I said they are ugly because they are ugly and they look and act like the shit stains on my drawas. I’m just saying, none of them got a booty and I’m damn sure not interested in hitting it either. If I was a young black male student and walked by them, I would clutch my textbooks and be like “ugghh!” and walk on by practicing in my head how to say “ni hao” to the chicks I’m trying to holla at – that’s just being honest and truthful and that’s what we going to be in this article.
ni hao…ni hao…ni hao!
The one thing you learn when you grow up around adversity and negativity is never become ugly like the environment around you – rise above it to be the shining star you are meant to be. Never become a victim or a reactionary to the negative environment you are surround in. If you do become bitter to the negativity, then you become a byproduct of the negative stuff and you will never be the beautiful and shining person you could have been. Because all you will end up being is ugly and that’s what these sistas in this video are, just ugly.
These negative ugly sistas reminded me of Jason Black and Dr. Umar Johnson who are also some ugly ass brothas who doing the same thing as these chicks – blaming other people and whining and acting angry on a stage platform with people in the audience agreeing with that negative platform they are on. We black people have choices in our life when we grow up around adversity where we can choose to become a victim or choose to rise above the negative and be greater.
You ever noticed I say I’m from the West Side of Chicago but you never hear me talk about I was drug dealing or gang-banging and shit like that? You hear these other cats be trying to brag to you about they grew up hard and did dirt and stuff like trying to brag on the negative environment to get some cool points or whatever. No, what you see me doing is handling serious business, showing brothas and sistas in the hood how to do for self, talk to you guys how to code this and create a solution on this and adopt global practices and patterns and I talk directly to brothas and sistas. And people in the Global Urban Collective know I’m putting in extra work to help build collaborative progress for brothas and sistas to make moves. I didn’t allow myself to become a victim – I rose above the negative people and environment and become the person who will give a damn about the West Side of Chicago and any hood out there and work to empower my people, my community and our younger generation to have it better than me coming up.
These two ugly ass broads chosen to express themselves as negative whiny victims – I don’t give a fuck about their ugly ass or their stupid ass poem and they can go suicide themselves like the rest of those dark-skinned red lip stick wearing sistas because they chose to be a victim and not a conqueror of the negative environment that we all are dealing with. You ain’t going to win a damn thing in life being an ugly victim but you will win immediately when you decide you not going to allow this negative environment make you a negative victim and choose instead to dedicate your life to rising above your situation.

We black men are going to do what the fuck we want to do and if we brothas don’t like flat booty dark skinned broads, then we don’t fucking like flat booty dark skinned broads. A bunch of ugly ass broads citing some cray cray poetic bullshit ain’t going to change the way we brothas think either. I really don’t like dating black chicks in 2015 either after all the bullshit I dealt with the sistas. What you sistas don’t get and what you missing the whole point is the reason why we brothas stop dating your flat booty dark skinned ass in the first place.
You sistas were negative and full of shit – we brothas decided we are not going to become victims of a negative environment where sistas using cops to attack black men, using the court system to keep a black man away from his children, fucking knuckleheads instead of marrying black men, conspire with liberals to abort our unborn black children and undermine First Lady Michelle Obama watching a show call Scandal and then watch reality TV of sistas fighting each other. No, we brothas made the decision to rise above the negative environment you sistas brought forth and find something better – I found a lot of Arab sistas, Indian sistas, Chinese sistas and Catholic Latina sistas who have core values and show outward respect for the black man that respect himself and made something out of himself and so has a lot of other brothas.
Stop being an ugly ass sista and rise the fuck up from the negative environment you keeping yourself in. “

I’m not posting a full link, because he doesn’t need anymore clicks for that mess. So I’ll just let you all figure it out by saying it’s called dream and hustle minus the spaces dot com, yall can figure that out.
I don’t respect him at all. Basically, black women should shut up, accept how things are, and take it in stride, for black men’s benefit. It’s call “Choosing to be a victim” when we speak out. But they can complain, whine, rant and go off anytime they feel mistreated, discriminated against or attacked any time they pleas and expect us to stand beside them with our fists in the air shouting black power.
It’s not fair to us, at all. Black women, when will you all stop defending these men and start demanding reciprocity?

So I saw this video where a black woman was getting abused and no one did anything about it :(

So I saw this video where a black woman was getting abused and no one did anything about it :(
First of all, where are people on social media finding these videos? And the people recording them, why don’t they do anything?
What made me angry other than him treating her face and head like a punching bag, is that she was the right type of victim just like everyone wants black women to be. She didn’t “raise up at a man” like folks say, wasn’t acting “ghetto” “loud” or “ratchet” you know all of the lame excuses misogynistic, and sexist assholes used to tell black women why we deserve to get our asses beat and put in our place, she was laying there like a damsel in distress, you know basically what it takes for any to even feel a tiny bit of sorrow for black women, and the people standing around DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! It was a crowd of black men and a few black women. Well at least one brotha was concerned, he argued to one of the women and asked them why they didn’t do anything, does that count as him doing something? **SMFH**
And she got up off the ground and told people “See he always does this to me, he does this to me all the time” and no one cared still. He came back over to her and told her to shut up and punched her again. I was so hurt, my stomach hit the floor.

Who am I kidding, the abuse of black women is seen as a joke by society, it's disgusting.