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Thursday, April 17, 2014

We need to talk about Jen Selter


We Need To Talk About Jen Selter

I tried to ignore this woman for as long as possible. I really did. The first time I heard the term “butt selfie” and later, “Queen of the Butt Selfie,” I knew nothing but frustration and eyerolls would come from me learning more about either of those things. So I drew my mind far, far away from this human and her butt selfies for as long as I’ve been able.
There is, of course, always a last straw. When I heard that Instagram celebrity Jen Selter was featured in an issue of Vanity Fair and being lauded as the first Instagram celebrity to score such a gig, I knew that the camel’s back had not only been broken, but completely demolished. Now, I honestly can’t say I’m too surprised by all this. It is, after all, Vanity Fair. Their main concern and focus is stated right there in the title. But the fact that this Jen Selter character is getting some sort of stamp of approval as Queen of the Asses is unacceptable and I’m here to set things straight.
jen selter black women

Is my issue with all this obvious yet? Let’s start with a hint. In “Vanity Fair’s Big Butt Story Rejects People Of Color,” Carimah Townes writes:
The article’s incorporation of hashtags — including “belfies” (butt selfies) — perpetuates the idea that curves are new, trendy, covetable accessories, thereby dismissing women of color whose curves existed long before it was fashionable to have them, and whose bodies have been critiqued throughout history.
So to begin, body parts are not trends. Period. To act as if this woman has kicked off a “butt trend” is not only inane, but also beyond incorrect.
Inane because it’s not really a trend if its always been around, and incorrect because Jen Selter is not the first woman to be famous for having a great butt. That high honor lies with one, Jennifer Lopez. (Who really, if we’re being honest, benefited greatly from being able to cop some of Selena’s steez.) Now, this is not at all to suggest that ample bottoms were not appreciated before JLo burst on to the scene–but The Ass being admired on a major, popular scale? Much of that was her. It was kicked off, ironically, with a photo in Vanity Fair, who seems to have completely forgotten anything they published before the year 2000.


jen selter black women
Let’s spell this out:
JENNIFER LOPEZ KICKED OFF THE POPULARIZATION AND ACCEPTANCE OF BIG ASSES IN THE MAINSTREAM–A TRAIT THAT HAS BEEN PRESENT AND CELEBRATED IN BLACK AND LATINO COMMUNITIES IN AMERICA SINCE BASICALLY FOREVER.
Erica Kennedy explained this beautifully in a 2010 article titled: “How J. Lo’s Ass Changed the World.” She wrote:
Black and Latino people always appreciated a healthy badonk but before J. Lo, white folks weren’t trying to get ass implants. Before J. Lo, mainstream media was not giving props to the junk in anyone’s trunk. Before J. Lo, there were not Eye Candy chicks making a living off their (faux) asses. Before J. Lo companies were not selling butt pads in one-stop booty shops.
This, my friends, is what truth looks like. This is the literary embodiment of YAAASSS.

We can get even deeper with this if you’d like. Because all you have to do is look at songs like  Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back,” Destiny Child’s “Bootylicious” (which was actually a term originally coined by Snoop Dogg) and literally half the rap songs from the 90s and 2000s (I could go back even further than that but I don’t want to hurt anybody) to prove that praise and appreciation of a sizable derri√®re has been around for quite awhile. Damn, just take a casual flip through literally every single issue of King Magazine. We’ve BEEN about the booty, ok?
And because I’m sure the simple among you are already thinking this: NO, I’M NOT SAYING THAT ALL BLACK WOMEN HAVE BIG BUTTS OR THAT WHITE WOMEN DON’T.
What I’m saying is, that this trait has been recognized and celebrated in black and Latino communities for YEARS so please don’t act like white people have always been down with the badonk. Remember in Legally Blonde when Ali Larter went to prison because she didn’t want women to find out that she liposuctioned fat out of her ass? Y’all JUST got on board so don’t even try to play me.
The real issue here is that as soon as a beauty trend or trait becomes popular in the mainstream, women of color are instantly eliminated from the equation–be it as the originators or idols. Jesse Williams (boo 4everz) perfectly articulated this on his Tumblr:
“The bodies of women of color are in a precarious situation: they are either at odds with the standard of beauty or become that standard without being credited.”

 Additionally, Jen Selter proves that white women are able to monetize their assets in ways that the other women cannot. Could you argue that plenty of black and brown women have been able to profit off their figures? Of course. But those women ain’t ending up in major fashion magazines or with their own TV shows (ahem, Kim) because of it.

 jen selter black women
I have to say, I don’t really care about Jen Selter. She is a blip. What I’m sick of is black beauty only being acceptable when white people start liking it–the mainstream only becoming comfortable with beauty in color when it’s on a white body. We see this over and over with certain traits and aesthetics:
Full lips: Remember when women started breaking down the doors of dermatology offices across America to get lip injections so they could emulate Angelina Jolie–ya know, the first beautiful woman on earth with thick lips?
Nail art: Which used to be considered “hood” or “ghetto” and now we have Lauren Conrad giving nail art tutorials on her pastel, country club explosion of a lifestyle blog.
Hair extensions: Newsflash: At this point, 97% of white women on the red carpet are wearing them too, boo.
Cornrows: Which we now know to be a brand new trend created by Kylie/Karlie/whatever Jenner.
And these are just things that I’M  aware as a black woman. I don’t doubt that the list is much longer.
All this is is some Christoper Columbus shit: White people thinking that simply because they just discovered something, it must be new. Which in and of itself wouldn’t be all the way terrible if they didn’t insist on completely erasing women of color from depictions of beauty. So as long as they continue to try to lighten up history, I will continue to remind you of the truth. Don’t you forget it.
 http://yoimjustsayin.com/2014/04/14/we-need-to-talk-about-jen-selter/comment-page-1/#comment-1450

Race and black mothers

 

Look at the pain in that sistas's eyes and the nonchalant expression of the white woman's face. Not only does the two pictures at the bottom prove every argument about double standards and race that plague black women, but if a black woman with red hair weave was seen driving around with  a baby on her car, mistake or not her behind would be under the jail. No way in on God's green Earth would she be given probation or a slap on the wrist.
But this sista who had no one else to help her, a single mother no one gives a damn about trying to feed her children and make a living for them so that they can be healthy, protected and happy was met with immediate injustice.  Black women we don't get chances, not even with out own people. The topic of black single mothers always brings out some of the most ignorant, judgmental assholes on the planet. Oh but we praise single fathers no matter the race, but specifically black one's because our standards are so low for them, but so high for women, especially black women.

That sista's face shows pain like she's saying "God what else, I'm trying but it's not working". But this is the reality of the way black women are treated. We're given no second chances, we're not empathized with, we're always presumed GUILTY UNTIL PROVEN INNOCENT. This is what happens to things people view as unimportant and worthless, they think the worse of them or they view them as such non-factors to the point they're not concerned.

This sista HAD NOBODY TO CARE FOR HER BABIES AND THEY WERE NOT GOING TO LET HER BRING THEM IN THERE! She had no money for a babysitter or daycare, what was she to do? Her children are gone and she's in even more pain mentally and physically because she's probably thinking that she's tried, and tried and tried and she still can't catch a break.

This pisses me off and proves that black women DO NOT GET A BREAK! We don't get a break with anything in the world, NOTHING AT ALL. And like I constantly reference, it's mind boggling how despite all of the ignorant stereotyping and studies try to paint us as the most vile creations on the planet, black women are still outpacing everyone in education and business, so it's something we're doing right. But this is how we're treated. All because we were born in bodies that don't comply with societal strictures. We're black and we're women. 
This picture breaks my heart because I'm sure she was protecting her children the best she could before she applied for that job, because if she didn't care for her children she wouldn't be living out of a car going place to place trying to find a job so they can have a bed to sleep in.

Monday, April 14, 2014

She's pretty, but she has to be mixed with something!

 

I've seen this a lot. And not just amongst white people but black people as well. Both groups immediately assume if a black woman has full hair, it doesn't even have to be the stereotypical "good hair" type but just long God given genetic negro hair, the black woman has to mixed. Gawd forbid she's attractive and pretty.

I've seen white people assume Gabrielle Union was mixed with something because she's considered conventionally attractive in white America as a black woman. Does this woman look any types of mixed to you?
 

Nope! But she's pretty, black and has a weave or hair that's long= mixed. Black women can't have long hair and we can't pretty. In many people eyes especially racist jealous whites and bitter coontastic black men it's just virtually impossible and unheard of.
I've seen arguments about Rihanna being pretty because she's assumed to be mixed. Child BYE!! Rihanna is a light skin black woman with genetically passed on light eyes she got from her father. Her mother is black and her father is biracial, making her more black than anything, SHE'S BLACK! Look at her features, that's a damn black woman.

 
To white people light skin black women are mixed with a whole bunch of stuff until proven innocent. Baby they refuse to propel black beauty so they'll squeeze the small percentage of other races out of attractive black women as much as they can.

I've seen white people argue that Nicki is not fully black because...you guessed it! She has long hair!!
 
You know black girls can't grow long hair, we're too ugly for long hair remember? I remember a black man on Youtube was pressed to tell us that Nicki was half Asian so that's why she's so pretty and into Asian fashion, **sigh** Nicki is Trini, Trinidad has a mixture of a lot of races but their racial background is mostly African descent. Her mom is full black and her dad is half Indian, that makes her a BLACK WOMAN. But surely racists and coons will grasp on to that small Indian percentage and homage it to her hair length and pretty face.

I doubt people can claim these gorgeous sistas straight from Africa are mixed...
But then again they're pretty, remember black girls aren't suppose to be pretty. I'm pretty sure the coons and the bitter racists would dissect their features to make sure they find some type of evidence that they have some small segment of non-black in them to say that they're not fully black so that's why they're pretty. "Her nose is small come on she can't be fully black!" "Look at that slight slant in her eyes, there's gotta be some Asian somewhere!!!"

It scares the life out of white America and certain black people to know that black beauty in it's truest form can be seen as beautiful. 

The most fawned over women in America last night were 3 black women representing all 3 shades of beautiful blackness!!
http://i368.photobucket.com/albums/oo126/theybf/April%202014/2014%20mtv%20movie%20awards/mtvmovieawardsredcarpetteaser_zps906eecb2.jpg 

Black beauty is here to stay!! And you will deal!!

Sunday, April 13, 2014

White man says he's only attracted to black women

Courtesy of Beyondblackwhite.com

QOTW: White Guy Worried He’s ONLY Attracted to Black Women. Here’s My Take.

 April 13, 2014 by Christelyn Karazin

 

Hi Christelyn,
I discovered you on Youtube. I enjoy your input on IR dating and would definitely consider you the “expert” on this topic on the web, for what it’s worth.
I’m 27, living in Lexington, KY. Right around 350,000 people with a black population of 14% which isn’t much. All of my past relationships with black women have been great with a few minor hangups that didn’t allow things to work out (kids, moving away,etc.).
 unnamed-1
I am ONLY interested in black women and aren’t attracted to any other color. I’m worried that I may never find that “one” if I’m limiting myself to only black women. I’m just not attracted to anything else though.  I’ve considered moving to Atlanta where the pickings are much higher but have heard that it’s not exactly the city for monogamous couples. Charlotte may be my second option. I figure if blacks only make up 12% of the US population, I’ve only got less than a 6% chance of finding love. Black women are educated, strong, beautiful, good mothers.
 unnamed-2 
What advice would you give a white male like myself?
Also, is it just me, or do most black women have their guard up for a good bit of time when we begin to date? Would you also say that they expect the worst out of men and have strong insecurities and always are skeptical assume men will just run for the hills? Thanks Christelyn, hope to hear back from you.
-John M.
 

http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/qotw-white-guy-worried-hes-attracted-black-women-heres-take/

Does the black community contradict themselves regarding respectability politics?

 


I know you all see it all the time. Doesn't matter what site or forum you're on, but there are always this group of fake pro-black militant black people always putting the "Do better" label on certain black people from certain backgrounds.

We're always talking about how ghetto black people embarrass us as a race and how they need to change and clean up their act to make the race look better. However it takes me no time to find comments from these same black people, especially black women, talking about how they can't wait to watch basketball wives, tune in to the new season of Love and Hip Hop, or make sure someone DVR.s their Real House Wives episodes. These types of black people remind me of racists.

Racists hate minorities period, especially black people. However they'll make the acception for black people who are obedient to white supremacist ideas. Basically the token negro, and the respectable black woman. But they will not hesitate to mock and belittle black people they deem worthless, ghetto, or unimportant for entertainment. They're entertaining enough for inconsistent studies with biased racist implications but not worthy enough to be respected as human beings.

This is where I place these fake pro-black militant black people who always love to mock and distance themselves from ghetto black people. You're mentality is no different than the white supremacists you're trying to beat in the battle of the social crown and supremacy contest.
You scream black excellence, black power, and black love but do you even know what that means? This very thing was posed on Tumblr in the form of a confession on the amazing "Blacpeopleconfessions" Tumblr page which now no more unfortunately. And the first comment toward it was from a black woman saying "So we should ignore bad behavior"? What is bad behavior? Sagging pants? Colored weave? Twerking? Talking in urban slang? How is that bad behavior? I seen these same characteristics on the college campus of my brother's old University, I guess those degree having negroes and nigrettes are so problematic with their going to college asses.

Why do we view ghetto black people as problematic? If someone is killing or murdering one another, then that's problematic, but a style, a look and a language IS NOT. This is nothing more than black people picking and choosing what represents black and what does not. This type of behavior is why I don't take pro-black militant negroes and nigrettes seriously.

Don't sit here and preach this black solidarity in one sentence but at the same time shame and bash your own people because they don't fall in line with your respectability politics that you consciously and unconsciously base off of the approval of the white man. Goodbye negroes.

Go back to bashing ghetto black women, but recording Love and Hip Hop, Basketball Wives, and Real Housewives at the same time, hypocrites.

Saturday, April 12, 2014

FOR BROWN GIRLS Creator Commits Suicide

People please listen to your daughters when they hurt or is going through something. In the African American community, mental illness is seen as a joke or not taken seriously. We brush them off with religious lectures or mocking them with ignorant comments comparing them to the mentally challenged which is also disrespectful.



 Karyn Washington


blackmediascoop.com
"Karyn Washington, founder of “For Brown Girls” and the “Dark Skin, Red Lips” project has died at the tender age of 22. And this was not a natural death. This was an apparent suicide.
Karyn, who dedicated herself to the uplifting of dark-skinned black girls and women, and worked so that they would have a sense of well-being, was struggling with depression and mental illness, and was unable to extend the love she gave to others to herself.


This is often par for the course with black women, who often shoulder so much burden (one of the only things the community will give us kudos for, the quintessential ‘struggle’) and to admit any weakness of the mind and body is to be considered defective. Vulnerability is not allowed. Tears are discouraged. Victims are incessantly blamed. We are hard on our women, and suffer as a result.
When your community tells you that you’re better off praying than seeking the advice of medical professionals and medication, you feel shame when you feel your mind is breaking. There is no safe place. To admit to any mental frailty is to invite scorn and mockery, accusations of “acting white.”
Because only white people suffer from depression. Only white people commit suicide.
Black women are strong.
Black women are not human.
And this is a LIE.”
Read more here: ---------->  http://www.blackmediascoop.com/for-brown-girls-founder-karyn-washington-dead-at-22/

Karyn Washington, founder of “For Brown Girls” and the “Dark Skin, Red Lips” project has died at the tender age of 22. And this was not a natural death. This was an apparent suicide.
Karyn, who dedicated herself to the uplifting of dark-skinned black girls and women, and worked so that they would have a sense of well-being, was struggling with depression and mental illness, and was unable to extend the love she gave to others to herself.
- See more at: http://www.blackmediascoop.com/for-brown-girls-founder-karyn-washington-dead-at-22/#sthash.fSkI53Nw.dpuf
Karyn Washington, founder of “For Brown Girls” and the “Dark Skin, Red Lips” project has died at the tender age of 22. And this was not a natural death. This was an apparent suicide.
Karyn, who dedicated herself to the uplifting of dark-skinned black girls and women, and worked so that they would have a sense of well-being, was struggling with depression and mental illness, and was unable to extend the love she gave to others to herself.
- See more at: http://www.blackmediascoop.com/for-brown-girls-founder-karyn-washington-dead-at-22/#sthash.fSkI53Nw.dpuf
By BMS Staff on April 11, 2014
By BMS Staff on April 11, 2014
By BMS Staff on April 11, 2014

Friday, April 11, 2014

Black women suggesting exanding their dating options outside of the U.S. gets met with ignorant comments from black men and black women.. as usual

Black people can't stand black women, but at the same time want black women to be breeding mules for black bodies. See we're ignorant, ghetto, fat, nasty, ugly cows to black people 24-7 365 days a year, until we decide to date and marry inter-racially, then we become important ignorant, fat, ghetto, nasty, ugly cows who need to be reminded to keep it in the race.

Here's the article:


Why Black Women In America Are Being Told To Find Love In Europe

 posted on

At first glance, Black Girl Travel seems to be like any other American international travel club, just one that caters exclusively to black women. But buried toward the bottom of its About Us page is a fuzzy YouTube video that indicates a wider problem.
The video is a defense of the company — directed at “haters” who have criticized Black Girl Travel for encouraging black women to date men in other countries.
“The heart of what we do is about empowering African-American women with options,” says Fleac√© Weaver, founder of Black Girl Travel, in the clip. “I have done a lot of research and talked to a lot of women in this country, and what I’m hearing is: You can’t find dates, you can’t find mates, you can’t find husbands.”
Weaver, a statuesque black woman flanked by two chic employees on either side, is all long lithe limbs and wavy hair. Her presence, despite the poor video quality, commands the screen.
“And I kind of thought about, like, well why is that? And as I started talking to [women] it’s like, they’re only dating black guys. Don’t shoot me!” she exclaims, pressing her hands to her chest, then throwing them out in a shrug. “It’s the truth. That’s what’s happening.”
She cites her research, 2008 census data that suggests that even if every black man chose to partner with a black woman, there would still be 1.5 million black women left mate-less.
“That’s why I created BlackGirlTravel.com. To get you to start thinking about dating interracially,” Weaver says warmly. “There are a lot of incredible men out there, yes, you know you want a brother. … That’s what you want, right? And that’s OK. But we know it’s just not enough to go around!” Weaver’s staff laughs along with her.
“What you gotta do is open your mind.”

Weaver’s not alone in her exhortation to black American women. The idea that we should travel abroad — particularly to Europe — to find love has a home in online discussion groups, travel websites, blogs, and Facebook pages, all of which earnestly and enthusiastically encourage us to “swirl,” i.e., date non-black men (the term is designed to evoke a half-chocolate, half-vanilla soft-serve).
Though they vary in tone — some are celebratory, extolling the joys of finding “Swirling Success in Sweden” while others are bear hard-nosed messages like “The Dating Truth for Black Women: Go to Europe and Don’t Look Back” — every site insists that black women in America are better off looking for love in another country.
I first came across the encouragements to go to Europe and “swirl” when I was a junior in college preparing to study abroad in Sweden. Though I cringe to admit it now, I was excited by the possibility of a semester spent flirting with Swedes. As a painfully self-conscious biracial woman, I had struggled to date at an Ivy League school, and studying abroad was as much an escape as it was a necessary academic endeavor for an international relations major. But I am also a European Union citizen, born in Hungary to a Hungarian mother and Nigerian father, and my optimism was tempered by the reality of my experiences living and traveling in Europe, experiences that taught me I was both Other and object. As much as I wanted to believe in sites that told me differently — that men across the pond were just waiting for my arrival — I felt like I also knew better.



And while these sites say they intend to expose black women to a world of possibilities, the “possibilities” seem to predominantly feature black women with white men — a move that, intentionally or not, presents interracial dating as aspirational. Kim Butler, a data editor from California who moved to Germany in 2011, pushed back on the argument that Europe is a solution to black female singlehood on her blog last year. She told me she’s noticed many of the pro-“swirl” websites seem to be pushing one message: “What is right is white.” But Butler says there is more of a conversation to be had. “Are we going to start talking about some of the issues going on in America, why there’s not so many black female couplings … or are we just going to say, ‘Screw it! We’ll just go to Europe and find a white guy.’”
“That’s not what we’re saying,” Weaver told me via Skype from Rome. She’s a former Los Angeles socialite who ran a once-popular site for affluent African-American Angelenos: blackweekly.com. “We say, ‘Date all men.’”
And her statement was more or less repeated by nearly every one of the women I interviewed who advocate that black women date interracially and internationally. Several added that they tell women to “choose character over color.” But it’s difficult to scroll through picture after picture of beaming-black-woman-with-smiling-white-man and not feel that interracial relationships are being idealized, rather than simply celebrated, an experience discomfiting enough that it has at times made me question my own relationship with a white man.


“Once those images are posted and once they’re permeating society, then a certain kind of picture is presented and reinforced about who black women should be with,” Tiya Miles told me over the phone.
Last year Miles, the chair of African-American studies at the University of Michigan–Ann Arbor and a former MacArthur fellow, wrote about the issues facing black women and interracial dating for the Huffington Post. While “in a perfect world love would be blind,” she wrote, in the United States — and its polarized racial landscape in which black is essentially bad and white is essentially good — our romantic decisions are also political ones, whether we’d like them to be or not.
The practical, not the political, was certainly the driving force for Weaver when she founded Black Girl Travel. The company, which was originally named Bella Italia before expanding to other countries, arranges tours for groups ranging from fewer than 10 to over 70. She could readily name all the women she’s taken to Italy who are currently in relationships with, or married to, Italian men. But she insisted that Black Girl Travel’s purpose isn’t to convince black women that Europe is the solution to their singlehood.
“I’m not saying it is the promised land; I’m just saying you have more options,” Weaver said.
Weaver is speaking to what she calls “the 1.5 million”: the number of black women in America who outnumbered black men in 2008 (now 2.5 million according to current census data). The women who, even if every black man chose to date a black woman, would still be left without a partner. Because it assumes all black women are heterosexual, this figure can’t accurately convey the number of single black women seeking a male partner. But black men are more than twice as likely than black women to marry outside their race, perhaps because stereotypes about black men and sexuality increase their desirability — while comparable parallels aren’t often available to black women. According to some advocates of interracial dating, unlike black men, black women face a unique pressure to date within their race.


“Black women are the community,” said Christelyn Karazin, founder of BeyondBlackWhite.com, author of Swirling, and creator of a new interracial dating show Swirlr, told me via Skype. “It’s like what Alice Walker said: We’re the mules. We’re the mammies. We’re not supposed to leave. We’re supposed to be holding it down. ‘I love my black kings, I’m holding it down!’ Meanwhile, so many of us are so miserable and unhappy and think that we don’t even deserve to be happy — that it’s about being black first and a woman never.”
Karazin, who also spearheaded a controversial movement advocating against single motherhood in the black communtiy, describes tangled and knotted long-standing ideas about black desirability and femininity — or, the supposed lack thereof. The slave trade turned black bodies into objects of toil and labor, and made black women’s bodies desirable largely in the context of rape, which allowed slave masters to exert further control over them. Slapstick mammies made exultant, toothy-grinned claims on the screens of early 20th-century cinema, their large and lumbering figures merely vehicles for laughs. And black female sexuality has often only been portrayed in its most grotesque and sensational forms, those of Hottentot Venuses or conniving jezebels. Throughout American history black women were either desexualized or hypersexualized according to the whims and anxieties of whites in control of their images. 

 In America, with the exceptions of nearly exclusively light-skinned celebrities, to desire a black woman is to reach your hand into the bottom of the beauty standard barrel. It’s why the adoration following Lupita has been so refreshing, and complicated. As recently as 2011, science (or, “science”) has been used to claim that black women are decidedly unattractive. As black women in the United States, we’re told not only that we likely won’t get married, (based on oft-misconstrued statistics that apply only to women aged 25–29), but that trying via modern conventions like online dating are probably futile — after all, we’re also the least likely to get messaged in online dating.
 
Malika Walker arrived in Rome two weeks ago as Weaver’s new assistant. Her boss said she “can’t even keep up with” how many dates Walker has been asked on since arriving.
“I guess you could say my stock is up in Europe,” Walker told me, with an exuberant laugh. “I felt like Naomi [Campbell] when I got off the plane. When I walked through the airport, I felt like a supermodel.”
Walker, who calls herself dark-skinned and repeatedly noted that she used to be heavier, moved to Italy from Atlanta, Ga. In Atlanta, she explained, light-skinned ideals made it difficult for her to date, though she had long ago learned to find validation from within rather than without. “Someone else’s preferences don’t define my value.”

Chelsea Como, Weaver’s other assistant who moved to Rome in 2012, echoed Walker’s statements. As a self-identified “brown-skinned” woman in Miami, Fla., she found she couldn’t live up to anyone’s ideals of desirability.
“I felt like as a brown-skinned girl, there was nothing extraordinary about me as a black woman who’s in shape but doesn’t have a humongous booty or the whole Nicki Minaj-J.Lo body type,” she told me. “I wasn’t ‘thick’ enough.”
The first time Como traveled with Black Girl Travel, in 2009, the script was completely flipped.
“When I came to Italy, it was like ‘What a beautiful figure you have!’ and ‘Your skin is so beautiful, it shines!’ or ‘I love your smile!’ The things that they looked at me [for] or complimented me on were things that I didn’t value because I felt that the society I lived in didn’t value them.”
Como also admitted that getting honked at on the streets of Rome made her initially feel uncomfortable.
“I was very self-conscious, but then I embraced it,” Como said. “I’d felt invisible for such a long time, and then when I came to Italy, Italian girls felt that I was competition … In America, a white girl doesn’t feel threatened at all by a black woman.”
An aspiring singer-songwriter who traveled with Weaver four times before making the move to Italy, Como said she only started wearing her natural hair after she left the U.S. “If you could go somewhere, be yourself 100%, try, experiment, and whatever you did, people would appreciate that, wouldn’t you want to be there?”
My thoughts have lingered longingly on this question — why, yes, I would want to be there. Yet, in the context of this Euro-topia, I wonder what to make of those in Italy who’ve derided their cabinet minister, Cecile Kyenge, as a “Congolese monkey” leading a “bunga-bunga goverment.” I’m puzzled by the French family who decided it was appropriate for their 12-year-old son to present the French justice minister with a banana. And I’m at a loss to understand the actions of the Swedish minister of culture, who smiled at the opportunity to cut into a cake in the form of a black woman as the artist who created it screamed in agony, his face smeared in black paint.

 
“I can’t tell you how many times I’m on a date and all the guy’s doing is rubbing on my skin and telling me how much he loves the color of my skin,” Weaver said. “One friend of mine has been married to my friend for 17 years, he said that he still loves her like he did from day one and that he likes touching her skin because her skin feels like velvet.”
Some might say that sounds like a fetish or exotification, an issue many black women fear when they date interracially.
But Karazin chalked that up to “defensiveness,” saying, “We’re always so weary that if somebody appreciates what we look like and who we are, then we automatically go into the mode of ‘Oh, they’re fetishizing me.’”
Having grown increasingly frustrated for years by incessant and unsolicited comments about how I look, I have shielded myself to the point that I sometimes wonder whether I’m too quick to judge. But in my experience, the “keen interest” I’ve received from men in the European nations I’ve traveled to have been more about exotification than genuine appreciation. My skin, facial features, and hair have all been subjects of questioning and prodding, and on one occasion, in Romania, I left a public pool after an older man, who stared relentlessly for several minutes, eventually retrieved his cell phone and attempted to take pictures of me from a bench.
“It’s just fingers in your hair all the time and ‘Oh, you have such nice black skin,’” Butler said. “It’s never really, ‘What is your name?’”
She recalled a particular conversation she had with the cousin of an ex-boyfriend. After he deemed her “exotic,” Butler told him that German people were also exotic to her. After all, she had never met an ethnic German before her boyfriend.


His response: “Oh, I’m normal.”
Butler and other black women she is friends with in Berlin have learned to evaluate the interest they receive, asking questions that they hope will give them “a gauge of if this guy is thinking of us as a human or just a black woman who represents all black women.” Despite the fraught navigation of being desired versus dehumanized, many women feel their travels were worth it.
“Some of these girls in the States feel like they’re invisible,” Weaver said. “That no one has even seen them, let alone speak to them or flirt with them or even taken the time to try to seduce them.” On her tours, she focuses especially on trying to help dark-skinned black women, who, in a society that scales beauty according to a rigid color spectrum, are least likely of all to be seen as desirable.
“That’s what they get out of it: knowing that they’re beautiful,” Weaver said. “That people find them attractive. It’s not about the actual hook-up, it’s about knowing that you’re pretty. It’s something that a lot of these girls haven’t experienced in a long time, if they’ve ever experienced it, period.”
 http://www.buzzfeed.com/anitabadejo/why-black-women-in-america-are-being-told-to-find-love-in-eu


It wouldn't a inter-racial article without black women being bashed and called delusional, desperate, and both black men and women telling black women how ugly, fat, and unattractive we are so there's no way we'd have any success with non-black men across seas. This is the typical mental abuse placed upon black women to keep black women in their place.

Look at these fools:


Here's a lesbian sista whom I assumed were our allies judging and stereotyping black women in the name of IR black hatred and defending black men against stereotypes.





 Here's her two part post riddled with stereotypes...



Oh and she got her some good laughs and lol's too from both black men and women..

Notice sketchy statistics are absolutely 100% logical and correct only when it pertains to black women. Meanwhile we're breaking our fingertips and putting our brains on burn out trying to prove stereotypical stats about black men wrong. How ignorant of you black people.

It got worse from there on out.

But black women this is the community you defend and cape for like mind controlled zombies when they give not two shallow fucks about your black ass. Yet black women are always talking about black excellence this and black excellence that on social media. It isn't black excellence if black women's needs and lives are alienated and devalued.

The same black community that craps on black women daily want these same black women they belittle and think are worthless to make sure to keep their wombs solely for black men's sperm to make more black bodies. THAT'S ABUSE!! MENTAL ABUSE!! It reminds me of slavery but only within the black community.

Black people pay black women dust by abusing us with stereotypes and ignorant labels but expect these black women they shame to remain loyal and keep it in the raise.

That's some black skinhead KKK type bullshit and most black women want no parts of it. There's no excuse for a lesbian sista to be behaving like this when black women are always protecting lesbian black women.

THIS IS WHY I CAN NOT STAND THE BLACK COMMUNITY, THE BLACK COMMUNITY IS NOT FOR ALL BLACK WOMEN! Only black women they can abuse and control. Do we do black men like that? NOPE.

Again black people, if you're gonna shit on the women that hold this shitty ass community together then expect for these same sistas to feel like THEY OWE YOU NOTHING. BLACK WOMEN DO NOT OWE BLACK MEN BLACK BABIES AND BLACK WOMBS. BLACK WOMEN DO NOT OWE THE BLACK COMMUNITY LOYALTY!!